Here’s a poem I wrote for David Huebert, on the occasion of him finishing his comprehensive exams. (For those who are not a graduate student themselves, or whose siblings, partners, roommates, or dog park friends are not graduate students, ABD stands for All But Dissertation). Happy spring! ABD For Dave “Species Panic at the Disco” Huebert Always better Dave. Any butter Dave. Affluent, botulistic Dave. Anything but Dave. Armies bomb Dave. Andromeda beleaguers Dave. Antigone belittles Dave. Aphrodite boffs Dave. Another beatific Dave. Alright, brazen Dave. Address barrenness, Dave? All butterflies Dave!